Tag Archives: People

2017. (An Open Letter to Myself)

Dear Alex,

I don’t care what people think of me when i say all of what i’m about to say. Nor will I. I’m not writing this as a people pleasing statement, but rather as a declaration to myself and a reminder to what i want from this upcoming year. So nobody should take any of this personally, and overall, i hope you can find something from this…even if it’s the will to make a declaration for yourself!

First things first, For me personally, 2016 has just been a shaky year. It hasn’t been terrible, because at the end of the day i see how blessed i am to have a family that surrounds and supports me regardless of how stupid i may be at times. But it has been shaky. It’s been a year of changing and molding. With all of the death and division, it has been a really hard year to keep the peace. With non-stop negativity being constantly held in my face, it’s hard to find the positives any more…despite being a very happy person normally, i just couldn’t seem to hold onto that this year, and every day was just a “Dragging my feet til i get through it” sort of day. Although i am blessed with friends, i no longer have the friends that i held most dear to me, the ones whom i can turn to when it seemed like everyone else disappeared…The ones i thought would never leave…left. And despite the obvious lies, i felt alone for a majority of the year. While others would leave knives in my back and go on to seemingly find their own happiness, this has been a year where i feel left alone and in pain. Some of it on my own doing, and some that just couldn’t be helped. It was a year that seems like everytime i found a positive…like two or 3 other problems would punch me in the face…But i suppose i have to look upon the horizon.

I know there are some people out there who may be questioning why people are so hung up on Celebrity deaths, wondering how people could be so upset for people they never met. But when you have that grand of a stage, you’re bound to touch a few lives with the way you present yourself or even the work that you produced. Alan Rickman and Carrie Fisher were two big ones that have always been there ever since i could watch film….and now they’re Gone. It just feels weird and is something i can’t seem to let go or find a way to stop thinking about.

I go back and re-read everything that has happened and can’t help but think “There has got to be a way to make 2017 better than this.” And after going through it all again, i stand and say “I’m going to make 2017 better than this! No excuses” How? We’ll that is what i’m here to set for myself as a reminder.

Stay off of social media and networking as much as possible.

With the media today, everything gets promoted to you so fast, especially on facebook. As much news and negativity as there is, it wouldn’t be to the escalation that it is, if it wasn’t promoted every 5 seconds on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and everywhere else that people can shove news in your face. I’m going to try and limit my time on all of those sites and try to make YouTube my only primary source of networking. Facebook/Twitter/Instagram aka “The Unholy Trinity” will merely be a Break-Time Entertainment Distraction of sorts. But by limiting this, i should be able to escape a lot of negativity in the News, and drama between friends. All this will leave room for me to write my own story in a sense by adding nothing but positivity.

Prioritize People who actually want to be in my life… 

And yes, this is definitely one of the big things that i could have avoided. But it’s just one of those things that you have to push yourself to do eventually. I’m pretty sure everyone has made this mistake at some point. You see people who seem fun, are are very attractive, or make you feel special….and invest all of your time into them, despite seeing clear signs that your time is better spent elsewhere. I’ve wasted so much time this year on people who just talked to me because they liked the attention, and in all honesty…neglected tons of friendships that actually matter. Well…no more.

Actually Pursue the things i want to do in life and not be ashamed of them.

I’m constantly self conscious of all the things that i do on a normal basis. Like, if I make a video, i’m so weary of what my friends will think of it that i either change it to the point where it is beyond recognition or don’t make it altogether. It’s one of the main reasons as to why i failed every goal for writing and video editing that I’ve set for myself for 2016. I get into my head too much rather than just Doing what i love and actually enjoying it which is the whole point in the first place. At the end of the day, Friends will be honest and won’t make fun of me for doing something i love. It’s best to just get to that understanding and actually put action behind what I’ve been wanting to do all this time.  

Stay active. Achieve a Balance between Computer Time and “Get out and do something time”

Straight up, This has been the most anti-social year i’ve ever had. That’s probably a big reason for my unhappiness this year is that i put my faith and time into possessions as opposed to people. And although there’s nothing wrong with having a hobby that involves Computer or Video Games, there has to be some sort of balance….i have to find mine.

Stay out of unnecessary situations. 

As someone who likes to help other people, i often end up putting myself into bad/unnecessary situations to do so..The need for people pleasing is an unfortunate one and is something i need to get away from. Although helping others is a good thing…changing myself or getting into sticky spots to do so isn’t , it’s time to realize that sacrificing everything for someone isn’t worth it if i don’t even have my own stuff figured out.

Money. 

This one is such a broad topic in all honesty. I do so much impulse buying and want to fit in so many hobbies, activites and hang out sessions that i end up destroying my bank account to do so. This year i’m hoping to put myself on a plan and distribute my money on  a reasonable level. After sitting there on my computer and looking at all of my “Subscriptions” to like netflix and screen junkies plus and such..there is so much stuff that i don’t use on a normal basis that in all honesty, i don’t really need. It’s time i get my financial situation under control and stop doing so much unnecessary spending. I hope to have a new car by this time next year, so that’s where i’m at right now. Remember that goal Alex.

Make Purposeful Decisions..

And not just the one that sounds the coolest. You want all of this great stuff for your life right? Well that’s not going to happen if you just run around and do stuff and don’t chase after all of these goals that you set for yourself! Remember! There’s a reason to why you’re doing all of this, and it’s all setting towards something greater. Just because something seems fun, doesn’t mean its the right decision. Reaching your goals and doing what you have to do isn’t always fun or easy, but it’s necessary and will pay off. Keep your eyes forward dude.

I know it’s difficult. Heck, i’ve struggled all year. But dude, if you ever come back and read this. Just know that you got this.  Have a good 2017. Reach your goals. You know what i’m talking about.